Untitled #45. 

If I am never lost 

How do I discover new grounds 

I never knew before? 

Then again, am I to navigate 

Foreign lands and not fear? 

What do I trust if holding onto 

Myself is not enough and 

The trees in the forest are all the same? 

Shadows are always darkness but 

A blessing for there will always 

Be light that filters through. 

If I am always found,

How do I grasp hold of unfamiliarity and

Never be overlooked? 

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Found.

I thought I lost it.

For the past month, I lost the quiet peace I had within me. Whenever I stopped to take a break, I felt overwhelmed with disappointment, anger, annoyance and sadness. It was not depression, but simply a low point. I still had moments of happiness – in between meals, books or some weekends. I still went out and did things that I like to put a smile on my face.

But I was constantly tired.

Tired of people, scenery and sounds.

Tired of feeling like nothing half the time.

Tired of the choices I have made and thinking them over again and again.

And this tiredness started showing on my body. The movements. The flexibility. The posture. The face. The eyes. Heaviness. Weariness. Emptiness.

But I am glad that I am no longer lost in this state of mind. I have found the peace again and decided to refocus on myself for a moment instead of the things happening around me or to me. I guess it is okay to be selfish and want to take care of myself every once in a while. Things will work out eventually, slowly, bit by bit and until then, I will focus on myself and get my inner self back on track. Untangle my thoughts, just close my eyes and breathe. Take things in my stride.

After all, life never gets easier. It is always a matter of perspective.

I will live.

Right now, after figuring this out, I feel light and wonderful again.

Happiness has never tasted so good.