My eyes are burning the way my throat burns after a good gulp of whiskey, vodka or any sort of liquer on the rocks.
After the initial spark, the flames linger for longer.
Then, I might still dream of it months later when an empty glass is within sight or when I blink my eyes.
These weeks, things keep changing and I finally know what it is like to work through, and with, tiredness.
It is funny that my life sometimes go in circles and I am still fighting it. I just refuse to give everything up and say, “I’m used to it.”
The feeling stays planted in my bones, calling my name but I can still put it aside to do work, to be functional and to be in the moment. Even if it is just for a while, because the feeling comes back once the wave of to-dos disappear, I feel liberated and free.
It feels good to reject the tiredness, even if it grows and becomes a part of me.
I just keep telling myself that even if it grows on me, I can grow out of it. Let the spaces between my bones breathe and hold the pockets for other things – self-love, rest and care.
This tiredness is a phase.