Battle Cry (Acoustic) – Angel Haze.

When I feel low, I usually listen to music to calm me down and help me put things in perspective. Or just help me indulge in the negativity, feel it out and move on after a while. Life is never easy, but all in all, it should be worth whatever you are willing to give it.

This song will always be an inspiration to me.

Stanza of the moment:

I’m born to destroy the fallacies, start creating believers
Start creating the leaders, tell ’em who they should follow
Nobody but themselves, especially if they hollow
Especially when they empty and death reserves for fulfillment
You the only person alive who holds the key to your healin’
So you take it and you run with it
And keep going even when your sun’s hidden
Because the time we spent in darkness when the rain come
Is where we often find the light soon as the pain’s done
There ain’t no material things in the world
That can change the fact that you feel alone
Despite the fact that it gets hard,
You take it all and you still go
Take the sun and you still grow,
Lose the light and you still glow
I been there, I’m still here and I know how you feel, so.

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The D Word.

Disappointment

(Usual medicine of the human soul.)

Is

The bitterness you taste

(Never tasted anything sweet with the same name yet.)

In your dry thirsty pinkish red mouth

(Accompanied with cracking lips. Of course.)

When you expect better all the time and

(Maybe it is my fault for having impossible standards?)

Try hard to see the brighter sides of things and

(We are supposed to do that, right?)

Keep stretching your weak arms to reach that star on the

(Just a bit more. We can never give up. That’s a crime.)

Furthest corner of this endless swimming space of the Universe

(Is there even a corner?)

Only to be let down

(What were we expecting, really?)

Again

Again

Again

And Again.

Four Day Break.

Even though this is only a short break of four days (and I do not particularly fancy this festive season for various of reasons), I can feel something change in me.

Maybe it is just the weather. The sky has been beautiful the past few days and witnessing sunsets by staying on the streets for longer were heartwarming. Even the night sky was poetic and thought I saw more stars blinking/winking/gleaming at me than usual.

Maybe it is just growing up. The constant process of learning the new, relearning the old and letting go of what needs to be forgotten to start afresh. Or simply opening up and finally saying what needed to be said. There is a lightness within me that I cannot really describe but it feels good. My body can get used to this.

Maybe it is just the discovery that trust can be given as easily as it can be broken. But if I am not willing to try, who knows right?

Or maybe it is just that I think I have found people worth surrounding myself with. And what I am feeling now is a comfort, a blessing and a love that should have been with me for many moons before.

This Lunar New Year is a pretty good start and I am proud of myself that I can sincerely say that I would not want it any other way.

All I can really say, is:

Welcome home, Dawn. You were truly missed.

This time, please stay for longer.

(Book) Twin Cities.

41yMOugFARLConstantly seeking an affair with the glory of nature, I love this book on travels.

It takes the world around us as inspiration to look at things with a different angle and to learn beyond the comfort zone about the world we live in.

Carol Muske-Dukes’ poetry makes me feel wanderlust all over again and I realise that this need to travel is in me, and never will leave. Her words paint pictures in my mind of risks, excitements and simply living.

Quotes:

(The Invention of Your Face)

Sometimes I wake up in somebody else’s night, somebody else’s day.

Eternal as the sea.

The idea for escalators came from waves.

I watched her changing expressions: I knew how many nights she’s gone searching for you, beyond the movable walls of a dream.

(Acceleration)

Heaven was always his future.

Sunlit words on a page.

The world was asleep yet alive with threat.

Trying to reverse your belief in imagination.

I was naked face; twenty-seven, a rebel, I thought.

Leaving a faint scent of wisteria on the page.

Laundered dreams.

That body the world wishes both to savour and destroy.

There is an invisible thread between our hearts that can never be broken.

The heart’s nonstop mimicking of what hurts.

Resuscitative kiss.

(Pierce County)

A cloud of broken stares.

Where the atmosphere is contradiction.

She knows the dead have rights, the dead are entitled to great tenderness.

Recognise one inhuman face gradually eclipsing the other.

Wild orphaned life.

The way twins unpeel from one another in the womb.

We are women of grief but we wear no black.

It is good to think, sipping wine, how Love always has a beginning and sometimes no end.

(Suttee Goddess)

Perhaps she is the sweetest whore of imagination.

The dream of body parts floating above cigar smoke.

Pale and beautiful, glittering under her starry feet.

Do I have to be beautiful, I wondered, if I only want peace?

How Lucia fell into dreams “and drowned.”

Death is the mother of beauty.

The world is too much with us.

Sunset and evening star.

(Scout)

But the merciless dictates of hope.

He marries what the eye desires with what it naturally erases.

Because the eye sees we are made and remade in the mind of another mind.

We recognise our galaxy but know nothing of her exile.

Life tries to imitate Art, and art Death – but there’s that flat Stone, in this desert here, where, alone, within a Heartbeat: we are absolutely nothing to each other.

To consummate cold love.

As I peered at myself: ugly, I thought, but for the first time, visible.

The collision of infidelity and longed-for innocence.

We moonwalk above our graves.

The poet writes the world back into being.

Love still trying to live, above, that weary star: reckless wish.

The 14th.

The streets were filled with heart-shaped balloons in different shades of pink.
People walked in pairs with a bouquet of roses decorating an arm or two.
Or a blue paper bag containing a blue box of 21st Century hopes and dreams of material wants.
We had none of those things but we were happy.
Surrounded by the lights of fireworks and familiar music, the night felt young and I felt alive with your hand in mine.

The past couple of weeks were difficult for me and all I really needed was you.
Thank you for being there for me and making Valentine’s Day a day worth celebrating this year.

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