Jamie.

You know those exercises they have in class when your lecturer asks you to picture your life in ten years? Or maybe twenty?

I always pictured myself with my own flat in another neighbourhood. Probably somewhere slightly away from the city and at least a few bus stops away from schools. Clean, peaceful and good enough for me to want to spend the rest of my life there. White, beige and blue – calming colours and easy to match. My furniture will be simple but interesting enough to brighten up the home. I will have a neat study and my own bedroom. Nothing too unnecessary or tacky, since I see myself traveling around a lot and spending most of my time with work and close friends. Maybe some photographs on the walls of my living room.

I will live on my own and lead my own independent lifestyle.

Sounds pretty good, huh?

I used to think it sounded pretty good too.

But after receiving Facebook notifications and wedding invitations, I am not so sure anymore.

You see, my friends are starting to get engaged, married or just talking about marriage plans. Most of them are already together or are getting together with people they are willing to take a chance at forever with. To them, having someone else to spend their lives with and maybe even forming a family is the best decision there is in life. They talk about their better halves at lunch gatherings or even on phone calls, and even when I cannot see their faces, I can imagine their eyes sparkling their new found excitement and happiness at their present and for the future. It fills me up with a heartwarming feeling and I feel happy for them. Genuinely.

After all, they have found their end of the invisible red thread, their soulmates and love.

It is something my parents always wanted for me but I never really wanted it for myself. I have always seen myself as a career-driven woman with no family to take care of or to go back to. And I have always liked it that way.

I am not really changing my mind or feeling jealous or anything like that.

I am just starting to wonder if I am really committed to my single lifestyle, or I am just afraid of having to open up. I still do not really know the answer. And for the first time in my life, when the new lecturer approached me with that question about my future self? i could not really give a confident straight answer.

Cups N Canvas.

2014-07-13 19.07.01One of the few places in Singapore where I can just sit in a corner with a friend or two for hours on end without feeling bored.

Maybe it is the atmosphere – usually quiet and filled with people doing your own stuff in random spots of their own. Maybe it is the staff – always so polite and ready to serve with bright smiles on their faces. Maybe it is the decorations – so quirky, colourful and filled with art all around with props to encourage photography.

Maybe it is just a good change of pace in life for one afternoon in the city area.

If you are a cake person that likes it thick and full of flavour, you will probably like this place. I have tried their New York Cheesecake and their Earl Grey Cheesecake so far. I quite like them but the flavour is so overwhelming that I prefer sharing the slice with at least one other person.

As for the coffee, I usually go for the cafe latte and not add any additional flavours. It tastes pretty great on its own. Besides that, they have plenty of other drinks to choose from – including a list of specialty drinks that are quite interesting.

When you do drop by, do consider getting their sweet potato latte. It is goodness in a cup with a beautiful purple colour to warm your being. My friend recommended it to me and after trying it, I really liked it.

Cannot wait to go back for more coffee and cake once my busy days slowly become more manageable.

(Note: They are closed on Mondays!)

Walk.

We walked, hand in hand, under the vast night sky that is freckled with thousands of stars.

No words, no glances and no kisses were exchanged.

Just fingers intertwined and the rhythm of gentle breathing.

But it was like we were having the most intimate conversation of our lives.

And that was my first taste of forever.

A Blank Face.

I lie in bed and I start thinking about people.

The familiar, the loved and the ones I have not met.

Sometimes, the faces will rearrange themselves and the bodies will swap until none of them are recognisable any longer. My thoughts and imagination will leave me with the canvas of a person I do not know or maybe, not remember. A blank face.

Just there.

I will start wondering if such a person actually exist and start filling in the blanks with colours, qualities and habits this being might possess.

And the question that have been lingering at the back of my mind will haunt me for the rest of the night.

“Are you missing a stranger that might have loved you?”