On some days, you just want to feel something.









Simply to convince yourself that you are alive.

And that you are more than your steady breathing.



Pain. Red. Drips. Scars. Cries. Stares. Silence.

Then footsteps moving further and further away.

Then silence once again.

I was asked to prove my love for her. Out of the blue, really. Until now, I do not really know what sparked that challenge.

Did I get her wrong flowers? Or was it the dinner after our fight? Or maybe it was when she insisted she was fine even though I could tell from her eyes that her heart was screaming the opposite of her words? When I accidentally stepped on her new shoes while we were trying to dance?

I do not know.

She never really clarified. Just said it quietly before she turned her back to me and walked home.

I chose to cut myself in front of her.

She said nothing while I bled. She said nothing while I cried. She said nothing while I slept. She said nothing.

Not a sentence, not a word and not even a sound.

I chose to bleed.

Maybe I was trying to bleed away the bad blood between us, if there were any. Maybe I wanted to show her how I was willing to be vulnerable in front of her. Maybe I was trying to show her that she was worth the pain. Maybe I was just desperate to make her stay. Maybe I wanted to bare my soul to her, so her doubts would leave and never come back.

I wanted a clean start.

A start as clean as the red thin lines on my skin. A start as clean as the red I was bleeding. A start as clean as the white bandages wrapped around my cuts.

I tried to prove my love for her in red.

Red for love. Red for passion. Red for desire.

But she left anyway.

Without saying a word.

Like my love for her was never enough to begin with.



Grin Affair.

2014-01-14 00.00.21A cosy small space situated at 3 Everton Park.

What really struck me about the place will be the Do-It-Yourself feel. Hand-made banners with beautiful quotes, a chalkboard with the flavours available as well as sales of mini jars, cloth and ribbons. Yes, it is incredibly artsy and because of the care taken into decorating the space, I somehow felt the love the owners had for the shop. It felt lovely.

I tried three flavours.

  1. Banoffee (Banana slices with coffee crust and pecans)
  2. Strawberry Cheese (Strawberry slices with vanilla cake and fresh cream)
  3. Kiwi Cheese (Kiwi slices with vanilla cake and fresh cream)

They specialise in jar cakes with about fourteen flavours to choose from. The flavours were pretty unique but if you are not a big fan of cream, you might not like them very much.

My favourite was the banoffee because the taste was stronger and had more variety with each bite. And the coffee cake tasted great with the banana slices and was less bland compared to the other two I got. And also, the texture was more interesting with soft cake and crunchy pecans.

It is a good gift for parties or birthdays since they are all nicely wrapped and packaged already. Also, the portion is great for sharing between two. It is not very special but the whole concept is very original, and I like that it is different from the cakes you can easily find in the city. Interesting enough for a try!

Mr Peabody And Sherman (2014).

Mr_Peabody_&_Sherman_Poster A movie for geeks and anyone that loves feeling clever.

About a genius dog, Mr Peabody, learning what it is like bringing up a human boy (Sherman) and what it is truly about having family. It was a delightful adventure of time traveling and bad decisions. And it was wonderful that it was a heartwarming ending that made the audience members go ‘Awwwww’.

Filled with punny jokes and clever references from beginning to end, I had a great time laughing throughout the movie. The language play was interesting and the jokes worked most times. They were not shallow humour but focusing more on double meanings and subtext. So the movie kind of challenges how well you pick up on nuances of words. That aspect was fun for me.

Other than that, because of the nature of time traveling, the movie made use of a lot of historical references – be it time periods, famous people and icons as well as significant events. So if you do not really know your history, you might miss out on some jokes because you would not really get it during that moment.

Yes, it is quite an intelligent movie that showcases art, science, philosophy as well as sports. The wide range featured kept things interesting and refreshing for all, especially when they were accompanied with detailed visuals and dynamic action animations.

But I guess what I really loved would be the aspect of parenting and what I got from the movie about it.

Mr Peabody wanted Sherman to grow up proper and that means making no mistakes. He treated Sherman like an experiment – constantly looking over him and not wanting him to go out of a controlled environment. There was this constant fear that Sherman will rebel or go out of control or get hurt.

But children grow by making mistakes and learning how to believe in their own skills. To constantly be protected is suffocating and that is not living, even though the intentions are good.

So in the end, Mr Peabody decided to let go and support his child and the moment when Sherman felt his dad’s belief in him was really heartwarming. For me, anyway. Even though it was an animated movie, you could see Sherman’s face light up and his determination to succeed became really strong.

The whole world might support and love you, but somehow when your parents do not feel the same, there just seems to be something missing. Maybe it is simply because of the portrayal of family and the way I grew up, but as a child, wanting approval from parents was such a big part of making decisions for myself. Because family is still family in the end, and we only get one.

Hmm. The movie left me with food for thought and even now, I still think about it from time from time.


The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014).

hr_The_Grand_Budapest_Hotel_3Possibly the most wonderful film I have ever watched so far, other than the movie Her.

The Grand Budapest Hotel recounts the adventures of a famous concierge, Gustave H. and lobby boy Zero Moustafa during the wars. With murders, a prison break and a stolen Renaissance painting, my heart stayed with the movie throughout.

I felt that the storyline was interesting enough to keep me engaged. With good pacing as well as dialogue, there was not a moment when I felt bored. Also, the layering of the various dimensions was interesting. It was modern day and a teenage girl went to visit the monument of the writer with his memoir in hand. Once she started reading the book, we were brought back to the writer’s home as he shared his thoughts on why he wrote the book while caring for his grandchildren. After his short author’s note, we enter the world of the story – the author was presented as a young adult and sat to dinner with Mr Zero Moustafa. The last dimension would be the world where everything happened – Zero Moustafa was the new lobby boy and befriended Gustave H.

Okay, it does sound a little complex but the movie did the transitions seamlessly and with ease. It was not confusing at all, and I felt the layers of the various dimensions actually added to the whole beauty of the film. Serving as a reminder of how wonderful story-telling can be – in the form of reading a book, writing a book and having a conversation. They all share the same ability to share something beautiful, compelling and deeply personal. In my opinion, this is a great reminder to have in today’s world especially, since we take books and face-to-face conversations for granted.

The other aspect of the movie that really struck me was the cinematography. Gorgeous. Breath-taking. Fascinating. The pieces of art featured were amazingly detailed and consistent in style. Even the perspectives taken for filming reminded me greatly of illustrations done in storybooks – centred, pastel coloured and constantly bringing out the beauty in every situation. The lighting was done in a delicate fashion as well.

It was simply magical with a slight touch of fairy tales.

Anyway, before I stop gushing about this movie and finally end this blog post, I really appreciated how the characters were all portrayed in a quirky fashion. Even though some people may find them unrelatable and absolutely ridiculous, I loved the exaggerations and how each character is done in a caricature manner. After all, it brought out each of their main characteristics really well and made me find humour in the most unexpected of situations. Quirky with a spoonful of realism. Why not?

Okay. I should stop. I can go on for days when a movie is really really good.

Definitely a beautiful movie that I can spend the rest of my life rewatching.


Sometimes, you do not need words.

Sometimes, you using words is just simply not enough.

Sometimes, you cannot find the right words to use.

Sometimes, you have no words to describe something.

So just keep quiet.

Appreciate the silence.

Embrace it.




There is a tiny crack in the ceiling.

Left corner.

Branching out like the roots of an oak tree.

Steady and strong, yet unnoticed most times.

I wonder if there are other cracks.

Hiding among the painted clouds on my ceiling.

May the search commence.